This story beats any other I have ever told....

From a journal entry, and I quote myself:
"Today I decided to hike up Monkey Mountain. Now back home, climbing was always fun and an adventure but somehow those "adventures" seem so insignificant to the obscure situations I get myself into while hiking here in Taiwan.
So there I go hiking up and the beautiful and mystical thing about this mountain is that you can never take the same route up...even if you try. I decided to be really brave and adventurous this one time and reach the top of this endless mountain, which is not even visible from below. I asked a few fellow climbers to direct me to the top and there I began my trek.

Up and up, higher and higher I climbed and it began to get so rocky and rugged, I had to hold on and hoist myself up like a monkey over boulders and trees. I met up with two older people climbing upwards and being somewhat prideful, I regained my energy and quickly surpassed them. Nice Anna, way show them you got game. Proud of my superior hiking ability while passing 60 year old climbers, I reached the top of the broad pathway to where the path became really narrow, overlooked a cliff, and became a dense jungle. Only because the adrenaline was still pumping in my proud veins did I continue up this eerie path. I didn't get very far though.

It was not in my imagination that with each step I took, I heard more and more clicking and hissing and realized almost a little too late that I was surrounded by the native of this mountain...the monkeys. I am not one to easily panic so when the papa bear monkey started towards me slowly I just stepped away (almost falling off the mountain) and stared at him toughly as he walked towards me and then passed me, glaring at me the whole time.


I took another deep breath, feeling a little awesome and so scared at the same time, and decided to take another path to the left that might be clear of these native red-faces. I started my way up along the left path this time when I heard deeper and louder clicking and hissing. It was then that I came across the terminator of monkeys, the Hulk, the superior pure bred gorilla monkey and he looked absolutely pissed.
As I have previously portrayed myself, I like to think that I am a brave person, an adventurer of some sort...that is until I come to this point in the story. For at that terrifying moment, looking into the fierce eyes of death, I screamed and ran down that mountain as fast as my size six feet in my rip off name brand tennis shoes could take me....and gorilla monkey followed closely behind.
I can't imagine what level of crazy I must have looked like when I met up with the old man climbing towards the great path of doom. Still almost running and looking rugged, I almost fell on him as I looked bewildered and yelled, "NOOOO, big monkey, BIG. Scary!" Mind you this was done with words AND actions. My monkey impression WAS pretty convincing though, I must say.
He looked at me, then up, then at me, and calmly with nice simple English said, "OK."
"OK?" I replied.
...
"OK, follow me."
"Are you crazy old man? This monkey will eat you like a slow roasted turkey on Thanksgiving. And you want me to FOLLOW you up there? If you think I look crazy, you must be insane!!!" I thought to myself.
But out loud all I could muster was, "OK."
Ok, so I allowed this seventy year old man to lead me once more up gorilla mountain.



We got to the aforementioned spot where I had met the face of true hostility.
Now the Taiwanese might be afraid of the sun, and water, and H1N1, but they are lion tamers when it comes to business dealing with monkeys, dare I say monkey business.
This sunken little man went right up to the Hulk monkey and just stared him down, alpha male style! It was pure magic and this little wussy monkey scampered away in shame with his tail between his legs. I was so impressed! I knew I had chosen the rightful guide...or had he chosen me?
At his point we met up with the old couple who I had previously Rambo-ed past in my youthful pride. Oh ironic life, the turtle does always beat the hare.
So there we were, the four of us walking up and three of them chatting, probably about my naivete. The couple pointed to a clearing where a group of their friends were sitting and playing boardgames... in the middle of this dangerous mountain...like this was a freaking Starbucks!
The couple motioned me to go and sit with them, but I looked at my ruthless guide and said, "top?".
"Yes.Top." He replied.
"Me.Top." I confidently followed his statement.
This seemed like a ridiculous idea to the couple and the old man, as they shook their heads and could not understand why a young girl would want to do such a thing. They clicked their tongues and shrugged their shoulders, walking away to meet their friends. I looked at my old friend and motioned him to climb onward.
"ok," was all he said.

This fit old man put me to shame as I began huffing and puffing trying to keep up with his bony frame that calmly sauntered up the mountain like a fresh deer.
"Do you climb everyday?" I asked.
"Two hours," he replied not having a clue what I was asking.
"Uuuuhh, do you climb today, and tomorrow and next day?" I tried again.
"Oh yes. Yes. Break on Sunday."
Wowoweeewow. I was very impressed. This man climbs this treacherous mountain everyday and of course takes his rest just like God did, on the seventh day!

Higher and higher we climbed, and shimmied between rocks, and yanked ourselves up the climbing ropes until we finally reached the top.


"It's so beautiful." I commented, "So no monkeys here?"
"No, no monkeys."




Relaxing, a bit,I took a few photos of the view and was just in time to hear him calmly say, "No, no monkeys...just snakes."
"How bout we keep moving old man?" I suggested.
Monkeys might looks scary, but snakes? They can kill...and for fun!!
So we went onward up and around the mountain, no turning back now.

Going back down the other side of the mountain climbing over rocks and trees and looking like we would be lost forever, we came upon a wooden path and there at the top of Monkey Mountain we found ourselves a nice outdoor workout area.
My friend and I hung up our bags and exercised.
He went straight for the barbells and I went for the hula hoop in this literal sense of the word, "jungle gym".


Standing next to another old man who was hula hooping, I thought that life couldn't get more adventurous than that image right there. 23 year old Armenian girl,at a gym on top of Monkey Mountain with two strange old Taiwanese men, hula hooping. What have I done right in life?

Not one to stay at a gym for two long, I interrupted my friend's sit ups, said my farewell and continued on the wooden path down Monkey Mountain, exhausted from my day's adventure.

Little did I know that I wasn't home safe yet...

Taking fun pictures and patting myself on the back for surviving this adventure,
I froze mid pat when I realized that the path ahead of me was strewn with an array of monkeys. This was the cosmopolitan of monkeys, the New York, New York. Without my fearless leader, all I had was my wee little self and my fear. But then I thought if this frail old man who is afraid of the sun can conquer the monkey mind, why couldn't I?
So holding my bag tight, and my head high, I walked onward and was doing just fine until my heart stopped.
It stopped when I came upon an intimate mating session right in the middle of my path! How insensitive and positively scandalous to mate in such a manner right in front of me. Wanting to run out of that red light district but not wanting to threaten the male, I looked straight ahead, found the very edge of the path, and walked onward quivering. I must have looked like a deer trapped in a lion's den pretending that if it didn't make eye contact, then the lions wouldn't realize it was their dinner for the night. But I guess somehow it worked because I stepped over, around, and once accidentally on the monkeys and I made it out alive!
Applauding my bravery for overcoming such obstacles I stopped walking for one moment and in that moment, the rush of adrenaline gave way to my body's true terror and my legs began to shake like Beyonce in her "Single Ladies" music video. I realized that I needed to do something drastic or else my legs would give out.
So I ran.
As fast as I could down this mountain until I found this little hut that I am sitting in now getting eaten alive by mosquitoes.
Ironic, in the face of viscous territorial monkeys and deadly snakes, I get eaten alive by pesky little mosquitoes. I am counting 12 from the time I sat down and started writing this entry, including one on my thumb knuckle.

Well the birds are squawking above me I hear loud thunder which usually precedes a rainstorm, so I should probably pack up and find my way down. If I come out of this alive, in the most humble way, let me say that I rocked this adventure!"
September 18, 2009

Pot Lucks, Olympics and Bowling Leagues!

There is much to fill you in on and I shall do my utmost to make everything clearly understood.

After training was over last week and I stopped working 12 hour days, I decided that it was time for my specialty dinner...a potluck. Before I tell you about that, let me tell you where this idea surfaced.

It has been cooling down a bit but for my California beach weathered body, it is still hot and sticky. After probing my co-workers about things to do in this city, they implanted a jewel of an idea that has recently been my favorite thing to do in this city. There is a place here that I could best compare to a water park for adults. It is a massive spa/pool/park where jets and jacuzzis massage your every need (take that as you may). Intense shots to your shoulders, a nice massage for you head, your buns, your back, hot, cold, mineral, normal....and it can all be done as long as you wear ...a swim cap. That's right. True story.Now I mean real business when I put on my water proof do rag. See photo below for a reference of a do rag.



So there we were, Sandra, my co-worker and I, relaxing under the jets next to a lovely group of old Taiwanese women, getting hungrier and hungrier when thoughts of food overtook every other sensation and we thought, what better way to get a lot of food for little money....ah yes, so it was then that we set a date for a real time Taiwanese pot luck at the Babbaganoush. We were to invite anyone and everyone we knew.
Here is the list and you judge our success rate for yourself on a level of 1-10
Here was the List:
Sandra: Spaghetti
Me: Sweet Potato fries and salad
My Chinese Co-teacher Ivy: Pea Soup
Courtney and Ben: Chips and Dip
Danielle: Drinks
Anthony:Drinks
Erin:Deviled eggs and Drinks
Sabrina:Drinks
Luke:Cheesecake and Drinks
Cecilia: Lemon Pie and Drinks.
Sandra's Co-worker Clint: Drinks and his own fold up chair

So....what do you think?
I think we sounded like we were pretty thirsty and then the personal fold-up chair just bumped it up a notch.

But all in all, everything turned out better than ever planned and we laughed and cried and passed out early to be well prepared for what lay ahead of us the next day! dun Dun Dun!!!

Please out your hands together to welcome for the first time ever, team Armenia to the 2009 Charity Olympics, Kaohsiung!!!


No one introduced us in such a manner, we just walked up to registration, however, we did get to see the lighting of the torch...or shall I say robot,nay, a man wearing aluminum being lit on fire in the 100 weather and 100% humidity in the middle of the park. It was pretty awesome.


Our competition games ranged from the Limbo (which Sandra and I rocked!)



...to twister, to the human ring toss (see photo in which I portray "human" and the ring is tossed upon me) and even a well organized pillow fight.


Who knew…who could ever know? But everyone had a pretty fantastic time and though we did not get beautiful medals around our neck with the Armenian national anthem in the background, we all got frozen yogurt gift certificates and the pride of knowing that we were the coolest team there! And that’s a fact!

Moving on...

I am not sure if it was some crazy dream or if it was real, but I am pretty sure on Monday, I joined a bowling league, in Taiwan, called the Smokin’ Shoes. Yep, I am pretty sure it was real. So real in fact, that I managed to bowl a 36 in the first game which included a strike. Don’t act like you’re not impressed. But don’t you worry, I came back in the second game with an astounding 80 and if I keep up this inflation rate, by next game, I should be in the 3 digits! But from now on, every Monday at 10:30 at night, I will suit up in my jersey uniform, put on some funky colored shoes, and bowl my heart out. And this is my life.
Thank you for tuning in.
Stay tuned for what is to come next….

Do You Believe in Life after Love

It has been a month in Taiwan. That in itself is pretty crazy.
After the typhoon, the city is back to normal and normal life is starting for me...which means work, and having "the regular" at the tea shop across the street, and purchasing my own scooter dubbed "the beast", and experiencing the normalcy of life here in Kaohsiung.

The other day we also experienced an earthquake quite early in the morning and this was what it looked like:
My roommate Sandra runs into my room in the wee hours of the morning...like 8 AM and yells, "it's an earthquake" with her sexy Mexican accent and morning voice.
from my deep slumber and half-conscious, i grumble, "oh, i thought you were just shaking my bed"
"why would i do that?" she asks half-surprised.
"you know, i'm not too sure. not too sure at all."

And then, thanks to our intense elementary school training, we proceeded to stand in our doorways until the aftershock subsided. We also figured since we are on the top 15th floor, if anything happened, we could just surf down with no worry that others would fall on top of us. It's a win win situation. But alas, nothing happened and we are alive and well.

....


Recently I have also began playing basketball with my friends. I live right next to the world games arena and there are nice basketball courts that we go out and play on almost everyday. Now I might be 5'2 but my junior high basketball skills are slowly coming back to me, and as i am below everyone's line of vision, I just dribble right under them and that is how real sports should be played. Plus I have the whole trash talking down, "u.g.l.y. you aint got no..." which is probably the best part of sports anyways. It gets pretty heated.

Also this weekend a friend, cooper, from home came to visit and I, for the first time, got to play tour guide. I explained that there is a 7-11 on every block and that you can even pay your bills there, I explained the use of face masks as protection from smog and not from SARS, that there are karaoke bars everywhere and some are even karaoke strip clubs (hilarious AND true), the fact that we have an Ikea and a Costco, the monkeys, and even showed him how amazing the people of Taiwan are and how easy it is to live here.

He saw a small example of the kindness of people here after i had a small spill on my scooter when my breaks went out and I literally got ambushed by little Taiwanese women trying to heal me and clean me up. They were on their hands and knees pouring water into the wounds as a man on a scooter offered what I can only assume was antibacterial cream and as another man checked and miraculously fixed my breaks. All this before I could even say xiexie, thank you. It was such a perfect way to get hurt because by the time I even got to see the scrapes, they were all cleaned up and disinfected. What a country!

My little spill on the scooter. "The beast" as I have gently named it, thought I said go, but what I really meant was "Good God, stop for the love of all mankind!" Oh what a hilarious misunderstanding.


We also went exploring and climbed some pretty huge and spiky rocks by the ocean.
If you look really closely, that is me On top of that boulder, which might as well be the biggest boulder in all the world.


I have been exploring the night markets which stink of stinky tofu...that is the actual name, stinky tofu, I have played with the monkeys on monkey mountain which is a lot scarier than cute little monkeys you might think of, i have gotten lost driving around the city, I have climbed trees and rocks, been bitten by mosquitoes, climbed mountains, avoided cockroaches, and have begun living.



Teaching is a bit tougher than I thought because you have a classroom of 15 10-year olds who don't speak English and have ADD and yell, "Teacher teacher...uhfihi fueisfg" in Chinese as I explain to them for the twenty third time that I don't speak Chinese so I just assume that they always have to go pee. But I am getting used to it and they are fun and quirky and very smart so when I get a chance, I will post photos. I also start teaching a kindergarten class in a week, so that should be fun too! I also tutor a group of high schoolers and this week we are learning the lyrics to a song by Greenday, their choice not mine. Had it been my choice, I probably would have taught them something by Cher because how funny would a bunch of Taiwanese high schoolers singing "Do you believe in life after love?" look like! There will come day...I promise.


So there it is.
My life in Taiwan so far.
So far so good.
One month.
I do believe in life after love.
Much more to come....

I want to ride my scooter...i want to ride it now

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RRZn5wrktwA&feature=related

Typhoon Time!!

So currently I am sitting around with Sandra, Courtney, Danielle, Anthony and Ben while a typhoon is throwing itself a VIP party outside...and we are NOT invited. These past few days we have been hibernating inside watching 24 with short spurts of trips to 7-11 to get refreshments. The typhoon is like no storm I have ever been in. Winds were reported about 89 miles an hour and reached 112 in teipei. Crazy it is. So we have all been here hanging out and anthony's landord just called and told them that their apartment was flooded so they left for a bit to dry their apartment and bring a change of clothes. Apparently the drain on their porch was clogged and the water from the storm seeped through into their place.

And I was talking to my friend Brian who lives up north in Taiwan and he said that they tried going out on a scooter yesterday and one of their friends got thrown off from the back of the scooter! he is ok, but what a crazy story!!

Anyways enough about the typhoon, its getting too much attention and i think it is growing because of all the attention we are feeding it.

Everything else is wonderful. I have acquired a few jobs and am deciding which jobs to take with the best schedules. I will tell more of the jobs when I have exact details. It is finally hitting me that I am living here, in Taiwan!! and though its a crazy thought, it's a reassuring one and it makes me feel good to know that I can feel home in such a place as this.

On My Run tonight

I went running today in the humidity and the dark but never having felt safer in my life, let me tell you what it is like. Everyone stares. That is no shock to me anymore, neither it is as exciting as it was at first. But now I can appreciate the subtleties that Kaohsiung has to offer.
By our house there is a river and these bridges that intersect one another. I think it was built for the world games because it is new and beautiful and lit up with these beautiful white lights that give this area the Christmas glow. I began going on the bridge that overlooks the highway, and it might have been the humidity, or the beautiful Brazilian tango I was listening to, but in that moment, one word just hit me and I could not get it out of my head. For all the great things the hippies have done for our culture, I think the one setback is the cheapening of the meaning of the word harmony. And this is my own accusation, but I just don't want my story about Taiwan to sound like a peace and love fest...which it is. But the word harmony just sat there, on the river, the lights, the muffled sound of the scooters passing by underneath, the children running around, the sound of the humidity. It was simply serene.
thats it. i just wanted to share that word for today. harmony. think about it. use it. try to feel it. but if you simply cant, just come on down my way and i will take you that bridge at night with the lights and the heat, and the sounds of traffic with the haze of the city lights in the background, and you will somehow understand.

So I accidentally climbed a mountain today...

Wanting to explore the city a little more by myself, I drove around Kaohsiung on my scooter and came upon this temple




So overtaken by its beauty I was that I decided to park my scooter and climb up to it....except that the stairs that I thought led to the temple, really led to the top of this beautiful mountain. And not being one to give up on such a challenge designed by a greater hand, I climbed on.





Caught off guard by the beauty, the heat, and the old people climbing, I continued my climb unaware of my unfit presence until an old man stopped by the shaded tree looked at me and said, "hello"
I said "Ni hao!"
He looked at me laughing, "you, just one?"
"yep, me, just one"
He then pointed to his shoes and then to mine and began laughing as if I had said or done the funniest thing in the world. I realize I was not wearing proper attire and that this mountain had never felt such heels as were on my shoes, but I did not consider myself to be so hilarious. He showed me on a map where we were and said, "this way, this way". I knew that I didnt know that map and he didnt know me, so who was i to judge his recommendation of going that way? Though looking back, I probably should have because though it led down through a beautiful and rocky pathway, it also led me down on the other side of the mountain. But such is life and the adventures we allow ourselves to get into.





I also realized that since the sun is no friend of the asians as white skin is revered as high society, all these senior citizens not only were climbing up this mountain in 100 degree weather and something like 100% humidity, but they were also doing it in pants, jackets, hats, and face masks. I gave all of them the "I am very impressed" nod when I walked by. They know what I meant.



So on my way down the wrong side of the mountain, I came across a few fun friends: an old chinese man that spoke to me for about 20 minutes...in chinese. I tried to laugh at the appropriate parts, like when he pointed up the mountain and then at me. I sometimes repeated what he was saying and this threw him into a frenzy, laughing and clapping his hands. I started thinking about becoming a comedian here in Taiwan because apparently I am just that funny.



Then I came upon a rooster playground and an old man giving a head massage. It's odd to me that these things dont seem so odd to me anymore...




Then once I was down the mountain, it took me about half an hour to find my way back to the scooter....realizing a little too late that the whole mountain is surrounded by oddly similar looking red temples.




.....I love this place.