From a journal entry, and I quote myself:
"Today I decided to hike up Monkey Mountain. Now back home, climbing was always fun and an adventure but somehow those "adventures" seem so insignificant to the obscure situations I get myself into while hiking here in Taiwan.
So there I go hiking up and the beautiful and mystical thing about this mountain is that you can never take the same route up...even if you try. I decided to be really brave and adventurous this one time and reach the top of this endless mountain, which is not even visible from below. I asked a few fellow climbers to direct me to the top and there I began my trek.
Up and up, higher and higher I climbed and it began to get so rocky and rugged, I had to hold on and hoist myself up like a monkey over boulders and trees. I met up with two older people climbing upwards and being somewhat prideful, I regained my energy and quickly surpassed them. Nice Anna, way show them you got game. Proud of my superior hiking ability while passing 60 year old climbers, I reached the top of the broad pathway to where the path became really narrow, overlooked a cliff, and became a dense jungle. Only because the adrenaline was still pumping in my proud veins did I continue up this eerie path. I didn't get very far though.
It was not in my imagination that with each step I took, I heard more and more clicking and hissing and realized almost a little too late that I was surrounded by the native of this mountain...the monkeys. I am not one to easily panic so when the papa bear monkey started towards me slowly I just stepped away (almost falling off the mountain) and stared at him toughly as he walked towards me and then passed me, glaring at me the whole time.
I took another deep breath, feeling a little awesome and so scared at the same time, and decided to take another path to the left that might be clear of these native red-faces. I started my way up along the left path this time when I heard deeper and louder clicking and hissing. It was then that I came across the terminator of monkeys, the Hulk, the superior pure bred gorilla monkey and he looked absolutely pissed.
As I have previously portrayed myself, I like to think that I am a brave person, an adventurer of some sort...that is until I come to this point in the story. For at that terrifying moment, looking into the fierce eyes of death, I screamed and ran down that mountain as fast as my size six feet in my rip off name brand tennis shoes could take me....and gorilla monkey followed closely behind.
I can't imagine what level of crazy I must have looked like when I met up with the old man climbing towards the great path of doom. Still almost running and looking rugged, I almost fell on him as I looked bewildered and yelled, "NOOOO, big monkey, BIG. Scary!" Mind you this was done with words AND actions. My monkey impression WAS pretty convincing though, I must say.
He looked at me, then up, then at me, and calmly with nice simple English said, "OK."
"OK?" I replied.
...
"OK, follow me."
"Are you crazy old man? This monkey will eat you like a slow roasted turkey on Thanksgiving. And you want me to FOLLOW you up there? If you think I look crazy, you must be insane!!!" I thought to myself.
But out loud all I could muster was, "OK."
Ok, so I allowed this seventy year old man to lead me once more up gorilla mountain.
We got to the aforementioned spot where I had met the face of true hostility.
Now the Taiwanese might be afraid of the sun, and water, and H1N1, but they are lion tamers when it comes to business dealing with monkeys, dare I say monkey business.
This sunken little man went right up to the Hulk monkey and just stared him down, alpha male style! It was pure magic and this little wussy monkey scampered away in shame with his tail between his legs. I was so impressed! I knew I had chosen the rightful guide...or had he chosen me?
At his point we met up with the old couple who I had previously Rambo-ed past in my youthful pride. Oh ironic life, the turtle does always beat the hare.
So there we were, the four of us walking up and three of them chatting, probably about my naivete. The couple pointed to a clearing where a group of their friends were sitting and playing boardgames... in the middle of this dangerous mountain...like this was a freaking Starbucks!
The couple motioned me to go and sit with them, but I looked at my ruthless guide and said, "top?".
"Yes.Top." He replied.
"Me.Top." I confidently followed his statement.
This seemed like a ridiculous idea to the couple and the old man, as they shook their heads and could not understand why a young girl would want to do such a thing. They clicked their tongues and shrugged their shoulders, walking away to meet their friends. I looked at my old friend and motioned him to climb onward.
"ok," was all he said.
This fit old man put me to shame as I began huffing and puffing trying to keep up with his bony frame that calmly sauntered up the mountain like a fresh deer.
"Do you climb everyday?" I asked.
"Two hours," he replied not having a clue what I was asking.
"Uuuuhh, do you climb today, and tomorrow and next day?" I tried again.
"Oh yes. Yes. Break on Sunday."
Wowoweeewow. I was very impressed. This man climbs this treacherous mountain everyday and of course takes his rest just like God did, on the seventh day!
Higher and higher we climbed, and shimmied between rocks, and yanked ourselves up the climbing ropes until we finally reached the top.
"It's so beautiful." I commented, "So no monkeys here?"
"No, no monkeys."
Relaxing, a bit,I took a few photos of the view and was just in time to hear him calmly say, "No, no monkeys...just snakes."
"How bout we keep moving old man?" I suggested.
Monkeys might looks scary, but snakes? They can kill...and for fun!!
So we went onward up and around the mountain, no turning back now.
Going back down the other side of the mountain climbing over rocks and trees and looking like we would be lost forever, we came upon a wooden path and there at the top of Monkey Mountain we found ourselves a nice outdoor workout area.
My friend and I hung up our bags and exercised.
He went straight for the barbells and I went for the hula hoop in this literal sense of the word, "jungle gym".
Standing next to another old man who was hula hooping, I thought that life couldn't get more adventurous than that image right there. 23 year old Armenian girl,at a gym on top of Monkey Mountain with two strange old Taiwanese men, hula hooping. What have I done right in life?
Not one to stay at a gym for two long, I interrupted my friend's sit ups, said my farewell and continued on the wooden path down Monkey Mountain, exhausted from my day's adventure.
Little did I know that I wasn't home safe yet...
Taking fun pictures and patting myself on the back for surviving this adventure,
I froze mid pat when I realized that the path ahead of me was strewn with an array of monkeys. This was the cosmopolitan of monkeys, the New York, New York. Without my fearless leader, all I had was my wee little self and my fear. But then I thought if this frail old man who is afraid of the sun can conquer the monkey mind, why couldn't I?So holding my bag tight, and my head high, I walked onward and was doing just fine until my heart stopped.
It stopped when I came upon an intimate mating session right in the middle of my path! How insensitive and positively scandalous to mate in such a manner right in front of me. Wanting to run out of that red light district but not wanting to threaten the male, I looked straight ahead, found the very edge of the path, and walked onward quivering. I must have looked like a deer trapped in a lion's den pretending that if it didn't make eye contact, then the lions wouldn't realize it was their dinner for the night. But I guess somehow it worked because I stepped over, around, and once accidentally on the monkeys and I made it out alive!
Applauding my bravery for overcoming such obstacles I stopped walking for one moment and in that moment, the rush of adrenaline gave way to my body's true terror and my legs began to shake like Beyonce in her "Single Ladies" music video. I realized that I needed to do something drastic or else my legs would give out.
So I ran.
As fast as I could down this mountain until I found this little hut that I am sitting in now getting eaten alive by mosquitoes.
Ironic, in the face of viscous territorial monkeys and deadly snakes, I get eaten alive by pesky little mosquitoes. I am counting 12 from the time I sat down and started writing this entry, including one on my thumb knuckle.
Well the birds are squawking above me I hear loud thunder which usually precedes a rainstorm, so I should probably pack up and find my way down. If I come out of this alive, in the most humble way, let me say that I rocked this adventure!"
September 18, 2009
